More Harm Than Good?

So about two weeks ago, I treated myself to a deep tissue massage.  I am a big fan of massages in general, but I tend to stick to the more relaxing, Swedishy ones.  I was a little apprehensive about the deep tissue, but sometimes I leave the spa feeling like nothing has changed in terms of the massive knots in my upper back.  I figured it was worth a try.  Well, the experience was ...painful.  Here's a little snippet of my session:

Me: I have a lot of tension in my upper back.  It's sore sometimes and it feels really tight.
Massage Therapist (MT):  Cool, we'll work on it.
(Massage starts.  MT starts kneading my shoulders.)
MT: Wow.
Me: I warned you.
MT: You weren't kidding.  This is really bad.  (Continues to beat me up for my fifty minutes.  As I'm leaving...)  Do you sit at a desk all day, is that why you're so tight?
Me:  No, I'm a teacher so I walk around a lot.
MT: (nods knowingly)  Oh.  You're a teacher.

Nuff said.

But I digress.  So during massage and after while I'm relaxing in the sauna, I'm feeling good and thinking this is going to be the end of my back woes.  Not so much.  Now I have this pinching pain in the middle of my upper back anytime I am standing up for a long period of time (like say, when I'm working out on the treadmill).  I'm trying to be really mindful of my posture (not easy with these DDs hanging off my chest), but the pain has not gone away.  The MT recommended I come see him again in about another week, but hello, what part of teacher was unclear?  Money for massages is not in the monthly budget.

I was hoping this was going to relieve some of my pain to make it easier for me to workout, but so far it is making things worse.  And really,  I don't need another excuse to not work out, I can come up with those all on my own :o)

Wedding Dress: Check

So I weighed in yesterday before my wedding dress appointment and I lost 1.5 pounds last week!  I will take it.

Once I again I realized I was being a big baby about the dress shopping.  I was totally dreading it, and of course, it was totally fine (I wasn't even tempted to eat the cookies they had out around the store!).  I tried on the dress again and found out the sample was a size smaller than I thought it was and it fit comfortably.  I decided to order the size I am presently and I will have the dress taken in as necessary.  I can imagine no greater horror than not fitting into my wedding dress.  Not cool.

The dress should get here around mid June, which means I have until then to lose some more pounds and tighten things up.  Once I go for dress fittings, can't lose any more weight.  It's going to come fast, but I know if I work hard, eat right, and stay focused, I will be fine.  Plus, once I get to June and all the showers and the parties start, it is going to be a lot harder to be good about what I eat.

My next big hurdle will be engagement pictures, which are three weeks away.  I would like to be a little smaller by then, so I need to be super dedicated over the next few weeks.  I will keep checking in to write about my progress (and probably do some whining too).  My next weigh in is a week away!  Time to go work out!

The Final Countdown!

A small part of me hopes that the title of this post will get the song stuck in your head (purely as a means of motivation of course :o)

So.....wedding dress is getting ordered on Saturday.  I already did the shopping with my closest gals and Mom, but I haven't purchased anything yet.  I basically waited until the last minute because I was dreading the dress shopping experience.  Surprisingly, it was pretty painless, some might say even fun (margaritas the size of your head at a gay bar after didn't hurt the experience either).  I didn't even have to dip into the flask provided by one of my oh-so-prepared bridesmaids (see above re: margaritas)!  What I discovered is that wedding dresses make your body look awesome.  All that boning and those cinched waists really truly accentuate the body's best features.  I did find the dress that I'm going to order that first day of shopping, but was hesitant to throw down my money.  I wanted to wait until I was smaller before I ordered the dress for real.

Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of time.  I have lost five pounds since I went shopping, but I know that is not going to make a huge difference when it comes to sizing.  I have to order my dress this weekend so I can ensure I have enough time for it to fitted and altered if necessary, but I am by no means close to where I want to be for my wedding day.  I know that the dress can be taken in, but I have been toying with the idea of ordering a size smaller than I actually am.  If nothing else, that will be some damn good motivation to make sure the scale keeps going down.

This is the real thing that I have been dreading.  Shopping turned out to be so much fun, but facing the reality of buying a dress that is not the size I want it to be is a little depressing.  I'm running out of time...hence, the final countdown.

Hello and Welcome!

Hello all, and welcome to blog numero dos!  (If you haven't checked out blog numero uno yet, please do so at pinkcupcakeweddings.blogspot.com!)  The main reason I decided to start this sucker is because I am back on the diet wagon, once again.  This time I have the mother load of all motivation:  my wedding (and subsequent honeymoon in Maui) to get in shape for.  However, just because I have the motivation does not make all this any easier.  In fact, sometimes the pressure of the countdown makes the whole situation harder.  Basically, I need somewhere to vent because, let's be honest, as amazing as any fiance can be (and mine is pretty freakin awesome) complaining to your guy about weight loss is about as fun as a trip to the gyno (and almost as helpful).

So, some background on me and my body image issues.  I have been struggling with my weight for what seems like forever, but what has really been about ten years.  I was always very active in my youth/young teen years so my horrible (seriously, awful) eating habits didn't make too much of a difference as far as my weight is concerned (God only knows what my arteries look like).  However, when I quit cheerleading my junior year of high school and stopped all physical activity along with it, I started to see the pounds flock to my tummy, hips and thighs.  Now, I have never been a "skinny" girl.  I gots me some curves, and honestly, I prefer it that way.  But watching my clothes size slowly grow bigger and bigger over the years did not do a whole lot for my self esteem (which in turn led to lots of other bad decisions, but we don't really need to go there).

My first successful weight loss journey was about six years ago when my family took a trip to Hawaii.  I knew that I was going to be living in a bathing suit for a week, and since Mom was on this trip, constantly photogrpahed in said suit.  That was great motivation to get my butt in gear.  I got a gym membership and started working out every day.  At the time, I was working at a breakfast restaurant, so I would eat a healthy meal there, come home, work out, eat another healthy meal and go to bed.  I set an unrealistic weight loss goal for my body type and when I couldn't meet that goal, I gave up.  By the time I was flying over the ocean, I had gained back five of the twenty-five pounds I had worked so hard to lose.

Needless to say, the rest of the twenty-five came back again.  And left again.  And came back again.  When I met my now fiance, I was approximately twenty-five pounds lighter than my current weight.  After much badgering, whining and complaining on my part, we got engaged in October of 2010 and set our wedding date for July of 2011.  I figured that would be all the motivation I would need to get back on the diet saddle.

Not so much.  I don't know why, but for some reason, the drive to start working out and eating better just wasn't there.  I bought a used treadmill, got it home, only to discover it didn't really work properly.  Used that as an excuse for months until I finally realized I am only five (now four and a half) months away from the most important (and photographed) day of my life.  More than anything, I never ever ever ever ever want to look at my wedding pictures and have a negative thought.  And if I stay the way I am now, I will.

So I bought a new treadmill, one that works properly, and have been using it every day (pretty much) for the past two and a half weeks.  As of my last weigh in (last Sunday) I have lost four pounds.  It's a great start, but I've got a long way to go.

I know that I am going to have to continue to make lifestyle changes in order for this process to be truly successful.  Because while the wedding might be the motivation, it is by no means the finish line.  I am getting married for gosh's sake, it's time to grow up, be an adult, and get my s*** together.  We'll see how that goes :o)

If you have made it this far, thanks for reading.  I hope you will continue to hang in there with me.  I'm going to need all the help I can get!